Without the video tape, I'm sure this case would be swept under the rugs. - J...








Without the video tape, I'm sure this case would be swept under the rugs.

- Joseph Bruno

A lot of times when a package says Open Other End, I purposely open the end where it s...








A lot of times when a package says Open Other End, I purposely open the end where it says that.

- George Carlin

You see, if you take pains and learn in order to get a reward, the work will seem hard; bu...






You see, if you take pains and learn in order to get a reward, the work will seem hard; but when you work... if you love your work, you will find your reward in that.

- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

I'm a man. Men cook outside. Women make the three-bean salad. That's the way it is...






I'm a man. Men cook outside. Women make the three-bean salad. That's the way it is and always has been, since the first settlers of Levittown. That outdoor grilling is a manly pursuit has long been beyond question. If this wasn't firmly understood, you'd never get grown men to put on those aprons with pictures of dancing wienies and things on the front.

- William Geist, New York Times Magazine

Any problem in the world can be solved by dancing. - James Brown








Any problem in the world can be solved by dancing.

- James Brown

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it. - D...








Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.

- Danny Kaye

I went back to work because someone had to pay for the groceries. - Bette Davis ...








I went back to work because someone had to pay for the groceries.

- Bette Davis


I think I'll be a little more restrictive and careful. She wants to email her friends ...






I think I'll be a little more restrictive and careful. She wants to email her friends and I'm very reluctant to let her use the Internet except for homework.

- Wendy Jones

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. - Phi...








Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

- Philip K. Dick

It's kind of a stupid rule, but I tried to sell it and say I didn't do it. Obviously...





It's kind of a stupid rule, but I tried to sell it and say I didn't do it. Obviously, I did it. I knew I did it. It's like telling the cop -- [after] you got a speeding ticket -- and you're telling him you didn't go over the speed limit when he's got you on radar.

- Luis Gonzalez

Come, let's be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, ...





Come, let's be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with.

- Charles Dickens

For I'm gettin' married in the mornin' Ding dong! the bells are gonna chi...








For I'm gettin' married in the mornin'
Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime.
- Get Me to the Church on Time

- Get Me to the Church on Time









A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands.

- Lord Byron


Besides, it was nothing compared to what I did at my bachelorette party Talk about wil...








Besides, it was nothing compared to what I did at my bachelorette party Talk about wild.

- Rise of the Silver Surfer

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people beh...







I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

- Steven Wright

For 'tis green, green, green, where the ruined towers are gray, And it's green, ...







For 'tis green, green, green, where the ruined towers are gray, And it's green, green, green, all the happy night and day; Green of leaf and green of sod, green of ivy on the wall, And the blessed Irish shamrock with the fairest green of all.

- Mary Elizabeth Blake

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon...







Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.

- Mary Anne Radmacher

I woke up this morning With this feeling inside me that I can't explain Like a w...








I woke up this morning
With this feeling inside me that I can't explain
Like a weight that I've carried
Been carried away, away
But I know something is coming
I don't know what it is,

- Rascal Flatts, "Feels Like Today"

But, for all that, they had a very pleasant walk. The trees were bare of leaves, and the river...




But, for all that, they had a very pleasant walk. The trees were bare of leaves, and the river was bare of water-lilies; but the sky was not bare of its beautiful blue, and the water reflected it, and a delicious wind ran with the stream, touching the surface crisply.

- Charles Dickens

You have to be cool under pressure. You have to be a strategist like chess and you hav...








You have to be cool under pressure. You have to be a strategist like chess and you have to use geometry like billiards.

- Bill McBride

We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat a...








We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink, for dining alone is leading the life of a lion or wolf.

- Epicurus

Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who und...








Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it.

- Henry David Thoreau

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able...








The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

- Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the mea...








The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

- Edgar Watson Howe

Why won't you leave us alone? I've got a one track mind. And the train is derail...




Why won't you leave us alone?

I've got a one track mind.

And the train is derailed.

- Tiny Toons Spring Break

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. - Author Unknown








Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.

- Author Unknown

The sky broke like an egg into full sunset and the water caught fire. - Pamela Ha...








The sky broke like an egg into full sunset and the water caught fire.

- Pamela Hansford Johnson

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, sh...









Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

- W.C. Fields











Penguins mate for life. That doesn't surprise me much because they all look alike. It's not like they're going to meet a really new, great looking penguin someday.

- Anonymous


Heaven helps the man who fights his fears Everday I face a new frontier I can't ...








Heaven helps the man who fights his fears
Everday I face a new frontier I can't worry what the world will say I may fly or fall but either way I'm free

- I'm Free, from Footloose

There was a storm. And thousands and thousands of starfish were washed up on the shore. And there wa...

There was a storm. And thousands and thousands of starfish were washed up on the shore. And there was this beautiful little girl was running down the beach and she was picking up the starfish, she was frantically throwing them back into the ocean. When I saw her doing this I said to her, 'Why are you doing that? You can only save a few before they die, what difference does it make?' And she looked at me and she said, 'To THAT one, it makes a difference.' To THAT one, it makes a difference, that little girl said. And she was right and at that very moment she was making a difference for that starfish and she was making a difference for herself too because she was connected, to that starfish. And that's what life is all about, connecting. In fact that's the only time you're ever alive, really, is when you're connecting.

- Holy Man

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon ca...








The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere.

- Jim Hightower

There is no place more delightful than one's own fireplace. - Marcus Tullius ...








There is no place more delightful than one's own fireplace.

- Marcus Tullius Cicero