My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash. - Henny Youngman




My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

- Henny Youngman

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid. - Walter Winchell Meg & Greg




Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.

- Walter Winchell


Meg & Greg

His venture sounds like a banana peel awaiting its victim. - Charlotte Curtis



His venture sounds like a banana peel awaiting its victim.

- Charlotte Curtis

Filming takes a lot out of you. It really does. It's immensely demanding, and you have to put the rest of your life in the icebox unt...




Filming takes a lot out of you. It really does. It's immensely demanding, and you have to put the rest of your life in the icebox until you do your final shot.

- John Cleese

If you're lucky enough to do well, it's your responsibility to send the elevator back down. - Kevin Spacey



If you're lucky enough to do well, it's your responsibility to send the elevator back down.

- Kevin Spacey

Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories. - Caroline Rhea...




Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories.

- Caroline Rhea

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost





Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.

- Robert Frost

You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face, but in your heart as well. - Author Unknown




You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face, but in your heart as well.

- Author Unknown

It is with the approach of winter that cats...wear their richest fur and assume an air of sumptuous and delightful opulence. - Pierre Lo...




It is with the approach of winter that cats...wear their richest fur and assume an air of sumptuous and delightful opulence.

- Pierre Loti

I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought wa...




I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it yet.

- Bruce Sterling

Always keep that happy attitude. Pretend that you are holding a beautiful fragrant bouquet. - Earl Nightingale




Always keep that happy attitude. Pretend that you are holding a beautiful fragrant bouquet.

- Earl Nightingale

If we had great distant vision like a hawk we could avoid most disasters, altering our future. - Unknown Author




If we had great distant vision like a hawk we could avoid most disasters, altering our future.

- Unknown Author

All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The v...



All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today.

- Pope Paul VI

And finally Winter, with its bitin', whinin' wind, and all the land will be mantled with snow. - Roy Bean




And finally Winter, with its bitin', whinin' wind, and all the land will be mantled with snow.

- Roy Bean

There are always flowers for those who want to see them. - Henri Matisse




There are always flowers for those who want to see them.

- Henri Matisse

Advice from an Icicle Keep Your Cool Be Clear Don't Be a Drip Know When to Chill Spend Time Just Hanging Out Avoid Meltdowns Get ...

Advice from an Icicle
Keep Your Cool
Be Clear
Don't Be a Drip
Know When to Chill
Spend Time Just Hanging Out
Avoid Meltdowns
Get to the Point!

- Ilan Shamir

Wherever I go, I'm watching. Even on vacation, when I'm in an airport or a railroad station, I look around, snap pictures, and fi...




Wherever I go, I'm watching. Even on vacation, when I'm in an airport or a railroad station, I look around, snap pictures, and find out how people do things.

- Richard Scarry

Challenge yourself, go for it whatever "it" may be; we are much more powerful and capable than we will ever know. - Amy Purdy ...




Challenge yourself, go for it whatever "it" may be; we are much more powerful and capable than we will ever know.

- Amy Purdy

The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance. - Aristotle




The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.

- Aristotle

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch




News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute.

- Jessica Savitch

The minute I get into a hotel room, I scatter my stuff everywhere. It's like a bomb site within a minute. So I suppose that means I&#...




The minute I get into a hotel room, I scatter my stuff everywhere. It's like a bomb site within a minute. So I suppose that means I'm trying to nest.

- Carey Mulligan

Why this car is automatic It's systematic It's hydromatic Why it's grease lightning. - Grease Lightning




Why this car is automatic
It's systematic
It's hydromatic
Why it's grease lightning.

- Grease Lightning

Jesus Christ! I'm sorry. I had a bite of my bagel and I forgot to pray. Dear Jesus, please forgive me for not praying before I had ...




Jesus Christ! I'm sorry. I had a bite of my bagel and I forgot to pray.

Dear Jesus, please forgive me for not praying before I had a bite of my bagel and schmeer.

Thank you very much. Amen.

- Miss Congeniality

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live. - Mortimer Adler




The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.

- Mortimer Adler

When you hold your baby in your arms the first time, and you think of all the things you can say and do to influence him, it's a treme...



When you hold your baby in your arms the first time, and you think of all the things you can say and do to influence him, it's a tremendous responsibility. What you do with him can influence not only him, but everyone he meets and not for a day or a month or a year but for time and eternity.

- Rose Kennedy

Technology is so much fun but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin





Technology is so much fun but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge.

- Daniel J. Boorstin

Winter is nature’s way of saying, "Up yours." - Robert Byrne


Winter is nature’s way of saying, "Up yours."

- Robert Byrne

I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all th...




I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game.

- Kevin Nealon