December 31, 2016

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.

- Hal Borland

December 30, 2016

The jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

- Christmas Vacation

December 29, 2016

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

- John Cleese

December 28, 2016

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.

- Henry David Thoreau

December 27, 2016

May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility.

- Maryanne Radmacher-Hershey

December 26, 2016

Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

- Marilyn Monroe

December 25, 2016

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

- Andy Rooney

December 24, 2016

Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.

- John Lubbock

December 23, 2016

Clark Griswold: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

- National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

December 22, 2016

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.

- Erma Bombeck

December 21, 2016

Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?
Buddy: I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite!

- Elf

December 20, 2016

I miss the good old days when women thought mistletoe was fun... and not sexual harassment.

- Melanie White

December 19, 2016

Being a traditionalist, I'm a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July, I'm already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left.

- John Waters

December 18, 2016

Scott Calvin: Charlie, stay away from those things. They're reindeer, you don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key lime disease.

- The Santa Clause

December 17, 2016

Kindness is like snow-it beautifies everything it covers.

- Croft M. Pentz

December 16, 2016

Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it.

- Sai Baba

December 15, 2016

Being organized is beginning with a plan to make a plan for whatever you plan to do.

- Big Apple Organizers Professional Organizers

December 14, 2016

Buddy: [whispering to the department store Santa] You sit on a throne of lies!

- Elf

December 13, 2016

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

- Jonathan Swift

December 12, 2016

If you see the world in black and white, you're missing important grey matter.

- Jack Fyock

December 11, 2016

More pathetic than the digital age is the people who love it. They buy right into the "newer is always better" ideology and they can't seem to grasp that the fun of VHS tapes, super 8 film, darkroom photography and vinyl records is far more worthwhile and human than the cold, high-tech atmosphere of everything being digitized. As the 21st century progresses, yeah, we'll have our Netflix and our cellular phones and our artificial intelligence and our implanted microchips - and future generations will have lost something valuable. Sadly, they won't even know what they've lost because we're taking it all away from them.

- Rebecca McNutt

December 10, 2016

Jesus came to be the light for the world, and then there's the Christmas star and the idea of letting your light shine...But not blinding your neighbor with it.

- Marta Perry

December 09, 2016

A darkened theater. Final whispers. Black. The projector streams through. The picture surrounds. I fall away. You reach me.

- Jolene Stockman, The Jelly Bean Crisis

December 08, 2016

When you're filming, it's very different from what you see on screen.

- Maisie Williams

December 07, 2016

The more you'll dress up the more fun you'll have.

- Brian Molko

December 06, 2016

I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards.

- Paul O'Grady

December 05, 2016

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

- Edward de Bono

December 04, 2016

Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. There is always something to make you wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.

- Albert Schweitzer

December 03, 2016

Smell is so powerful, you know. My grannies would both bake things like shortbreads and cookies. I think whenever I smell those kinds of things it really takes me back to my childhood.

- Curtis Stone

December 02, 2016

Chivalry: It's the little boy that kisses my hand, the young man who holds the door open for me, and the old man who tips his hat to me. None of it is a reflection of me, but a reflection of them.

- Donna Lynn Hope

December 01, 2016

The camera is much more than a recording apparatus, it is a medium via which messages reach us from another world.

- Orson Welles

November 30, 2016

Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?

- Bob Marley

November 29, 2016

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

- Woody Allen

November 28, 2016

There are people who have money and people who are rich.

- Coco Chanel

November 27, 2016

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy.

- Lewis Black

November 26, 2016

What is a home without children? Quiet.

- Henny Youngman

November 25, 2016

The nutcracker sits under the holiday tree, a guardian of childhood stories. Feed him walnuts and he will crack open a tale.

- Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

November 24, 2016

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes & gravy have nary a lump,
May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize,
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.

- C. J. Beaman, “Twas The Night Of Thanksgiving”

November 23, 2016

Cleanliness is very important. If you let kids make a total mess in the kitchen and then leave, you're not really teaching them anything.

- Emeril Lagasse

November 22, 2016

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.

- Colin Powell

November 21, 2016

Hope can be the most wonderful thing in the world or it can crush your heart like an eggshell.

- Harlan Coben

November 20, 2016

Sometimes God writes straightforward in twisted lines.

- Gloria Trevi

November 19, 2016

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.

- Charles Addams

November 18, 2016

A photographer went to a socialite party in New York. As he entered the front door, the host said 'I love your pictures - they're wonderful; you must have a fantastic camera.' He said nothing until dinner was finished, then: 'That was a wonderful dinner; you must hava a terrific stove.

- Sam Haskins

November 17, 2016

We don't create a fantasy world to escape reality. We create it to be able to stay.

- Lynda Barry

November 16, 2016

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.

- Christopher Morley

November 15, 2016

Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.

- Jane Austen

November 14, 2016

Education isn't something you can finish.

- Isaac Asimov

November 13, 2016

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

- Thích Nhất Hạnh

November 12, 2016

Everybody loves things that sparkle.

- Philip Treacy