February 28, 2009

Where's your bridesmaid dress?

Oh, I gave it to Ruby's daughter, she works at Hooters, she was thrilled.

- Monster-in-Law

February 27, 2009

I think I've been asleep most of my life.

- Elizabethtown

February 26, 2009

I'm packing your extra pair of shoes, and your angry eyes just in case.

- Toy Story 2

February 25, 2009

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

- Jack Handy

February 24, 2009

Boredom is just the reverse side of fascination: both depend on being outside rather than inside a situation, and one leads to the other.

- Susan Sontag

The world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation. The hand is the cutting edge of the mind.

- Diane Arbus

February 23, 2009

Real life is, to most men, a long second-best, a perpetual compromise between the ideal and the possible; but the world of pure reason knows no compromise, no practical limitations, no barrier to the creative activity.

- Bertrand Russell

February 22, 2009

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along.

- Antonin Scalia

February 21, 2009

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

- Stephen Wright

February 20, 2009

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

- Japanese Proverb

February 19, 2009

School is like a lollipop. It sucks until it is gone.

- Anonymous

February 18, 2009

Do you know where Subway is?

- Question by woman to a Wendy's employee

February 17, 2009

Hook me up with a great photographer, a clever stylist and an expert retoucher, and together we create a beautiful illusion.

- Heidi Klum

February 16, 2009

If you're tangled up, just tango on.

- Scent of a Woman

February 15, 2009

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

- Frida Kahlo

February 14, 2009

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

- Henry Van Dyke

February 13, 2009

Put money in thy purse.

- Othello. ACT I Scene 3.

February 12, 2009

Charlie Kelly: Whoa dude, what are you doing? That's my good chair!
Mac: Charlie, it's covered in bird shit.
Charlie Kelly: No... it's toothpaste.
Mac: It's clearly bird shit.
Charlie Kelly: No, it's not. It's toothpaste.
Mac: Do you even own a toothbrush?

- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.

- Jim Rohn

February 11, 2009

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

- Stephen Wright

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

- Jack Handy

February 10, 2009

What am I to do with my life (youll find it out, dont worry)
How am I supposed to know whats right (you just got to do it your way)
I cant help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected.

- Britney Spears, "Overprotected"

February 09, 2009

One of life's most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn't do our homework, that we are not prepared.

- Merlin Olsen

February 08, 2009

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

- Author Unknown

February 07, 2009

It takes a long time to grow young.

- Pablo Picasso

February 06, 2009

Eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

- Mark Twain

February 05, 2009

The peasant, at the diner! - He didn't pay his check. - It's the peasant who I saw leaving the city who disappeared into the crowd with Kuzco in the back of his cart. He must have taken him back to his village, so if we find the village, we find him, and if we find him, we find Kuzco. Oh, yeah, it's all comin' together. Yzma!

- Emperor's New Groove

February 04, 2009

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

- Orson Welles

February 03, 2009

A snowflake is one of God's most fragile creations, but look what they can do when they stick together!

- Author Unknown

February 02, 2009

No more fun in the snow Snowman's losing his glow He gets any smaller, he'll be nothing but water No more fun in the snow.

- Friends Tigger & Pooh

February 01, 2009

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

- Dave Barry

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

- Unknown